tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21265582485675081432011-04-21T13:08:46.977-07:00The Chronicles of Darwin and AnastasiaFollow the story of assistants Darwin and Anastasia as they dodge bullets, attend parties, and manage the clandestine projects for their insanely powerful and always visionary bosses.Jessica Strachanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16727762172645858262noreply@blogger.comBlogger171100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2126558248567508143.post-7999294526914727432008-03-13T13:00:00.000-07:002008-03-13T15:50:34.262-07:00Tahoota Berries for A llDear Darwin,This letter should reach you long before I make it back to the Rosewater mansion in New York but I fear that it will reach you too late.You see, Lady Rosewater sent me down to Antarctica to fulfill my final duties as Project Director for plexybutanol-hydrate-cosmostic-matterum extraction. I expected to merely deal with the usual paperwork, staff evaluations, and discussion of pay Jessica Strachanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16727762172645858262noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2126558248567508143.post-25004417138506972842008-01-14T07:40:00.000-08:002009-03-26T07:28:37.380-07:00The holidays, old enemies, and honky-tonk headaches returnDearest Anastasia,Again my correspondence will commence with deepest apologies because of yet another late response. You see finding holiday gifts for my many staff members is more difficult than most could ever imagine! I mean really! With all the undercover agents, theologians, astrophysicists, code decryption specialists, baristas, and the whole Sanskrit department (which alone is made up ofJessica Strachanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16727762172645858262noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2126558248567508143.post-64767082326664843492007-11-20T12:28:00.000-08:002008-03-13T12:59:39.170-07:00Extraction Update for Darwin and the SultanDear Darwin Whitecrest,I read your last letter with shock and horror. When your childhood should have been an experience of bountiful heaps of learning and adventure, it was instead a murky labyrinth of adult deception and possible free fall into the abyss of genetic manipulation. I don't mean to address you romantically when I write that my heart skipped a beat when I imagined you in so much Jessica Strachanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16727762172645858262noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2126558248567508143.post-22760560077110157152007-11-12T08:48:00.000-08:002007-11-27T09:08:38.759-08:00Recollections of a Dangerous YouthDearest Anastasia,I do offer my sincerest apologies for my tardy reply to your most recent letter. I have been busy detaining many country western singing stars and have been able to completely stop the espionage once detected. Although, the calluses on my thumbs from the banjo show no sign of relenting!But back to your previous letter! I must admit that your detailed explanation of such Jessica Strachanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16727762172645858262noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2126558248567508143.post-91209658660953438752007-07-23T07:49:00.000-07:002007-11-27T09:09:22.739-08:00How Dare Jimmy Jack/ NASA Found UsDear Darwin,It took several weeks to write to you as I've just returned from our headquarters in Antarctica where we were making a few minor adjustments to our robotic space station in orbit around Saturn. We did manage to work with one of our Russian partners on the development of a fleet of remotely controlled robotic miners (whom we affectionately call Mort, Mark, Mavin, and Munro). These Jessica Strachanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16727762172645858262noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2126558248567508143.post-54523517531692825342007-06-25T14:06:00.000-07:002007-06-25T14:45:31.544-07:00Country Music CommunicationDearest Anastasia, I am sorry for the delay in recent communications, but just as the Rosewater Camp has discovered spies within your own organization, so now again has the Periwinkle Camp. And I must warn you this new threat is like nothing any of us, with our highly classified training, has ever experienced before. The threat is absolutely diabolical and it involves the most lethal tool ever Jessica Strachanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16727762172645858262noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2126558248567508143.post-67227167413174467942007-06-14T10:15:00.000-07:002007-06-14T12:53:27.623-07:00Butlers and Mind ControlDear Darwin Whitecrest,I would like to provide you with an update about our dealings with the E.C.F.O.T.C.U.N.A.N.A., which I will now call "Satellite Army" for short. The plan that we so intricately worked out has indeed gone awry. Zinovy Milchovy a.k.a. Simone Vicaduer was tipped off to our spa plans and has disappeared from the international scene. I cannot blame anyone other than myself Jessica Strachanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16727762172645858262noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2126558248567508143.post-79209386515644797632007-05-24T08:05:00.000-07:002007-05-24T11:51:06.304-07:00Churls on the AlpsDarwin Whitecrest, assistant to Sultan Periwinkle,That last correspondence took my breath away. To think that Lady Rosewater had unwittingly faced such dangers in the alps! I broke the news to Kitty and told her of Zinovy Milchovy’s death and the double that has replaced him. She appeared to be entirely unfazed—and this time I could not blame it on her recent botox injections. Her response on Jessica Strachanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16727762172645858262noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2126558248567508143.post-80341662877129254432007-03-29T13:09:00.000-07:002007-05-24T11:50:25.773-07:00Secret societies and identitiesDear Anastasia van Orange of Rosewater & Associates,I wish that our replies were not of such dire urgency and that they could be more casual or inviting. However, it has come to my attention with our dealings with the F.B.I., C.I.A., and C.U.N.A.N.A. that your contact Zinovy Milchovy who worked as chief of Soviet affairs was killed in 1983 at which time Simone Vicaduer assumed his likeness and Jessica Strachanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16727762172645858262noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2126558248567508143.post-37406607243714446332007-03-15T12:45:00.000-07:002007-05-24T11:50:25.773-07:00Dear Darwin Whitecrest, right hand (or both) to Armand Periwinkle,According to my employer, Lady Rosewater, the time to act is now. She attended the international scientist council on issues of stellar mining techniques back in 1992 and knew that it could be achieved. That it is achievable now, is a surprise. Our links to Russia are few. We have recently ceased communications with President PutinJessica Strachanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16727762172645858262noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2126558248567508143.post-59611216767947353742007-02-28T12:38:00.000-08:002007-05-24T11:50:25.775-07:00Hush-hushDear Assistant to Lady Rosewater,Through careful consideration and thoughtful planning it has come to be realized that the plexibubble fortune can only exist if certain polymers are extracted from asteroids within our solar system. Sci-Fi? Not quite as the plexy in the Plexibubble is derived from Plexybutanol-hydrate-cosmostic-matterum (pronunciation may vary) from the rings around Saturn. It hasJessica Strachanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16727762172645858262noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2126558248567508143.post-81224962265813350342007-02-23T13:23:00.000-08:002007-05-24T11:50:25.776-07:00Alas, we were not able to meet at the auction for auctioneers, nor did we catch a glimpse of one another at the Soho afterparty sponsored by the debonair Diddy-daddy-do. All the while, Darwin wished that he could replace champagne bubbles with a decent tet-a-tete with me. He needed to discuss a secret project: The Plexi-Bubble Extraction.Jessica Strachanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16727762172645858262noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2126558248567508143.post-1683906433796302642007-02-20T07:09:00.000-08:002007-05-24T11:50:25.777-07:00Dear Mr. Whitecrest,I apologize for the missing details regarding our auction location, a minor problem that occurred with a good number of our invitations due its edible nature. Our carrier pigeons are feeling the side effects of that clerical misjudgement. Find the enclosed auction address [omitted from this post due to security concerns]. We will add an additional note regarding the Jessica Strachanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16727762172645858262noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2126558248567508143.post-49125300110578888622007-02-20T07:04:00.000-08:002007-05-24T11:50:25.777-07:00Dear Ms. van Orange,Your invitation is accepted and much appreciated. His Honor and Sultan A. Periwinkle is in Santa Fe, where the climate allows for his rejuvenation of cells and yet diagnosed growths to flourish. I do accept your invitation on his behalf but we need a specific date. You see, Armand’s plexybubble is being refitted for him. The doctors have collectively agreed that Armand needs Jessica Strachanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16727762172645858262noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2126558248567508143.post-50296066507418877422007-02-15T09:47:00.000-08:002007-05-24T11:50:25.778-07:00Auction InvitationThe following is a Copy of invitation to Lady Kitty Rosewater's Charity Auction. The originals have since decomposed.Notice to Darwin Whitecrest; Personal Assistant and Chronic Liaison:Thank you very much for the newsletter concerning our dear Armand. Lady Rosewater, my employer, was surprised to learn that he is well. Rumors have been unkind as of late. Knitting circles and weblogs have been Jessica Strachanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16727762172645858262noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2126558248567508143.post-1559191023202857812007-02-15T09:33:00.000-08:002007-05-24T11:50:25.778-07:00Armand Periwinkle FanclubTo all members of the Armand Periwinkle fan club, this is just a message dismissing any rumor that Armand is dead. I know throughout the international circles of hob-knobbing that this was considered fact. However, our idol and icon is very much alive and deliriously content. Living well over 102 years on this glorious planet Earth, Armand sends his love and phlegm covered wishes to you all. Jessica Strachanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16727762172645858262noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2126558248567508143.post-52859490688783236782007-02-15T09:05:00.000-08:002007-06-14T12:56:00.031-07:00The Invisible Hand of the 20th and 21st CenturyThey ask nothing of us—apart from a general request to abstain from the human tendencies that include stealing, lying, and brutalizing each another. They invent the technologies we use, set the standards of fashion, manage vast fortunes, and seem to live forever. But more importantly, they work night and day to protect the world from villains and imbeciles who would destroy the very tectonic Jessica Strachanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16727762172645858262noreply@blogger.com0