Monday, June 25, 2007

Country Music Communication

Dearest Anastasia,

I am sorry for the delay in recent communications, but just as the Rosewater Camp has discovered spies within your own organization, so now again has the Periwinkle Camp. And I must warn you this new threat is like nothing any of us, with our highly classified training, has ever experienced before. The threat is absolutely diabolical and it involves the most lethal tool ever created… country music.

It seems that a still unknown operative deep with in our organization has been moonlighting as a country music producer and song writer. This is something that we encourage our team members to do. Or rather, we encourage them to moonlight within their fields of interests and not country music producing... Not that there is anything wrong with that. It seems that our codes, communication encryptions, and security mainframe systems are so impenetrable that this individual did not leak information directly from within the organization, but instead memorized key information to share with the outside. This information involves still classified plexibuble tests that we are conducting in a zero gravity bunker below the Hollywood sign in Los Angeles, California.


This individual infiltrated the "country music scene" and is trying to piggyback our secrets on seemingly undetectable audio files interwoven with popular country songs. The stolen information can only be decoded when it is downloaded from the internet from specific country music fan sites. Like honkytonkbadunkadunk.com or redneckwhatup?.com. One of the songs that Jimmy Jack Sparks, the operative’s codename, is called "My Wife’s True Love Is Her False Eye.” It is actually a very moving story about a woman who cannot cry when times get tough country-style, because of her glass eye. When we downloaded this song we discovered that the operative's hidden file described how the intended third party could decipher and use the stolen information. It also listed an international bank account number that funds would need to be placed in before any information were to be released via a new country hit. We have time before the secrets are released.

We are currently tracking down the corporation, organization, or individual who is overseeing the bank account, but it is likely that legal roadblocks will be met. I want to ask your advice on methods you would recommend to infiltrate the country music world. I myself am currently in Nashville setting up surveillance and getting fitted for a ten gallon hat. Please contact me as soon as your schedule permits.

Always,

Darwin Whitecrest

P.S. Did you get the box of marmalade I sent?

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