To all members of the Armand Periwinkle fan club, this is just a message dismissing any rumor that Armand is dead. I know throughout the international circles of hob-knobbing that this was considered fact. However, our idol and icon is very much alive and deliriously content. Living well over 102 years on this glorious planet Earth, Armand sends his love and phlegm covered wishes to you all.
Thanks and good tidings,
Personal Assistant and Chronic Liaison,
Darwin Whitecrest
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